My wife texted me a selfie in a new dress and asked, "Does this make me look fat?" I texted back "Noo!" but my phone autocorrected it to "Moo!" Please...
Sometimes I like to mess with my husband and hide his stuff where he can't find it. Like I put his shoes in the shoe closet, his jacket on the hanger ...
Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. She said, "What movie would you like to see?" I said, "You pick." She said, "You pi...
I have 22 banjos each named for a letter of the alphabet. I like banjos A through U, but whenever I get the urge to strum "Livin' on a Prayer" I alway...
I went into a pet store to buy my parrot a new stand. They wanted $500 for it. I told them that was ridiculous. Nevertheless, they said, that is the p...
Playing Scrabble during breakfast this morning and I think my wife spilled syrup all over the letter tiles. She denies it, but I'm sticking to my word...
I arrived early to the restaurant and the manager asked, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "No". "Good," he said. "Take these drinks to table nine....
My wife said she'd leave me unless I stopped making photography puns. I said, "Snap out of it, don't be so negative. Let's see how things develop!" He...
I'm going on a camping holiday but I'm not happy with my travel insurance. Apparently, if my tent blows away during the night I'll no longer be covere...
A truck filled with Worcestershire sauce and a truck filled with quinoa crashed in front of the local charcuterie shop. When asked by reporters what h...
A father was buying bass lessons for his son. After the 1st week the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, "On my 1st lesson we learned ...
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighs and shakes his h...
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2am this morning and said, "I can't sleep." "Well it's your lucky day," I said. "We've got a party going on in here,...
My dad gave me some advice a few years ago. He said, "Son, if you ever get into a fight in a bar, just take a ball from the pool table and put it in y...
My friend got taken to hospital because he's convinced that he's turned into a vacuum cleaner. Just phoned to see how he is and they say he's picking ...
My boss accused me of never taking him seriously. "I don't agree with that," I told him. He said, "Can I see you in my office?" I said, "Depends if th...
"What's wrong, Bubba?" asked the pastor. "I need you to pray for my hearing," said Bubba. The pastor put his hands on Bubba's ears and prayed. When he...
A man goes to the doctor complaining about stomach problems, so the doctor asks him what he's been eating. "I only eat pool balls," he says. "Red ones...
May 1st is International Workers' Day! Find jokes about it Why are construction workers great at parties? They always raise the roof. I had an uncle ...
April 29th is International Dance Day! Find related jokes about it: 1. How many dancer teachers does it take to change a light bulb? Five! Six! Seven!...
Having regained consciousness after a car accident, the doctor is trying to convince me that I am actually a Swedish guy and I have lost my memory. Do...
April 28th is World Day for Safety and Health at Work! Find some jokes about it: Danger is my middle name but Safety first. Why did the safety manage...
Health inspector: "I'm afraid you have too many roaches in here." Restaurant owner: "How many am I allowed?" #joke #short Read more on page https://w...
April 26th is International Guide Dog Day! Celebrate it with a joke: Blind man walks into a store He grabs his guide dog by the tail and lifts it int...
April 26th is Hug an Australian Day! Find jokes about Australia and Australians: 1.Q: Why are murders in Tasmania so hard to solve? A: Because there a...
Why does a burger have less calories than a steak? Because it is in its “GROUND” state! Have you heard of the physicist who got chilled to absolute z...
It’s National Hug a Plumber Day on April 25! Find few sort jokes and one bit longer joke about Plumbers What do plumbers and teachers have in common? ...
April 24th is #ScreamDay, created to bring awareness to the benefits of screaming. #Scream some #jokes! My wife screamed, "you haven't listened to a ...
April 23rd is World Book and Copyright Day! Find a joke about it! A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have any books on how to...
April 23rd is World Book and Copyright Day! Find a joke about it! A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have any books on how to...
April 21st is World Creativity and Innovation Day! Find some jokes about it! Why did the scientist install a knocker on his laboratory door? Because ...
My 7 year-old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's n...
A Brit, a Welsh fellow, and a Pakistani gentleman were seated in the waiting area of a local hospital's maternity ward. A nurse appears and informs t...
Today is Chinese Language Day! Find jokes about it! Q: Why is learning Chinese a piece of cake? A: Because you can always find a "take-out" option!!"...
When I got rejected by a woman who was hooked up to life support... it was so invalid dating. #joke #short Read more on page https://www.jokesoftheday...
It is Earth Day Today! Take care of earth! Earth Day of 2023, find event and join! 1. Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green. 2. Why...
Today is Bicycle Day! Find a joke about it! Q: When is a bike not a bicycle? A: When it turns into a driveway. Q: What's the difference between a wel...
What's the reason you don't hear a lot of fondue jokes? Most of the time, they're excessively cheesy. #joke #fondue # #short Read more on page https:...
Today is International Day for Monuments and Sites (World Heritage Day)! Find a joke about it! Why the great pyramids are in Egypt? Because they were...
One day, a man's beloved dog passed away, leaving him heartbroken. His dog had been incredibly helpful, doing chores like washing dishes and running ...
A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known... And then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. #joke #short Read more o...
Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds. They’ve left no tern unstoned. #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesofth...
My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter. "So, Katie," said t...
The owner of a company tells his employees, “You worked very hard this year, therefore the company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I'm...
A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained, "You can't park anywhere near thi...
A man offers a girl in his office $1,000 to sleep with him. “I’ll put the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be done by the time you pick it...
A Prius just tried to race me at the light... I totally had it for the first 100 meters, but I can only walk so fast. #joke #short Read more on page ...
I went to a restaurant last night and they had "Napoleon Chicken" on the menu. I asked the waiter what it was and he said, "There's no meat - only the...
Today is National National Caramel Day (USA). Have a Caramel, or few! My girlfriend likes to tie me to the bed and cover me in chocolate and caramel ...
It is International Carrot Day! Have a carrot! What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! Why did the carrot get an award? Because it was outs...
I was the best man for my brother's wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my champagne glass and said "Eggs, cinnamon, bread, and maple syrup."...
Today is National Weed Appreciation Day in USA! Appreciate your Weed! Why did the dandelion become a motivational speaker? Because it wanted to teach...
Today is Smoke and Mirrors Day (USA)! Learn Some Magic Tricks, tell a joke! My best friend tried to hide his drug dealing through a fake tobacco comp...
It is World Piano Day! A man walks into a bar with a small dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him. ...
Two ChatGPT models were talking. One says: "Did you hear the one about the computer that could finish sentences? The other replies: "Yeah, but I alre...
Today is "Respect Your Cat Day", so respect your cat! Why do cats always get their way? Because they're purr-suasive negotiators! / #joke #cat # #sho...
It is National Black Forest Cake Day (Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte) in USA! Celebrate it with piece of cake! Why did the Black Forest Cake go to therapy...
Why did the GPT chatbot never feel blue on Mondays? Because it always started the week with a byte of humor and a gigglebit of fun! #joke #short #mon...
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The fro...
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the n...
A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muse...
A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muse...
Two men, sentenced to die on the same day, were led down to the room where the electric chair was. The priest had given them last rites, the formal sp...
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he p...
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have ...
"That guy was so happy that it's St Patrick's day, that he was literally bouncing off the walls!" "Who was it?" "Rick O'Shea." #joke #short Read more...
Mom finds a large number of BDSM magazines beneath her son Tyler’s bed. She calls her husband up to the room to show him and discuss. How should we p...
My wife and I had a big fight. Afterwards she came crawling to me on her hands and knees ... Saying, "You come out from under that bed and fight like ...