Rohit kumar Mar 4 505 views 0 Comments 0 Likes 0 Reviews relationships
The new theory of love includes four basic dimensions that would explain, for example, what makes relationships happy and lasting, or, on the contrary, what makes them fail.
The fourfold theory of love defines a last attempt of science to explain one of the most fascinating mysteries. Why do we love, what mechanisms guide and make it possible for us to fall in love and take care of that relationship? Even more, what explains the fact that this intense and almost blinding feeling disintegrates over time in some cases? And it doesn't matter how ild the relationship is.
The truth is that we have been trying to answer these and other contextual questions for several centuries. Plato said that love is an impulse that leads us to want to go beyond the material to make contact with that form of beauty. According to the Greek philosopher, people need to love to feel complete, and admiration was essential in that experience.
If for a time, the attempt to answer what love is and how it is orchestrated fell on philosophy, it was throughout the 20th century when psychology became scientifically interested in the subject. Social psychologists, such as Robert Sternberg, developed such interesting approaches as the triangular theory of love. Initially in love people love sharing good morning images, I love you images to make the relationship stronger.
However, with the advancement of neuroscience, new reformulations open up. At present, a more inclusive framework is sought in which to include from neurobiological to social and emotional aspects. The time has come to provide a new explanation.
Within the fourfold theory of love, special attention is paid to the type of attachment that defines the couple.
The fourfold theory of love was enunciated at the Sapienza University of Rome in 2020 and published in the academic journal Frontiers in Psychology. Its purpose was none other than to offer a more inclusive model. As we have rightly pointed out, advances in neurobiology were decisive in thinking about a new, more complete reformulation.
We now know, for example, that the brain has a network specialized in all forms of love, and that the role of the type of attachment is a very decisive factor. The interaction between oxytocin and dopamine in the cerebral striatum has a lot to do with attachment, and, therefore, with the type of relationships, we establish with others.
In this way, and as we well know, a more secure and mature relationship will feed a healthier relationship. On the contrary, an anxious or dependent attachment defines more complex and painful dynamics. In other words, the advancement of science has allowed us to identify more factors that explain how love originates, is maintained and fades. Let's discover those four dimensions.
In love there are two crucial variables: secure attachment and mutual care.
While it is true that we can often feel attracted to someone without loving them, authentic love does include this variable in all cases. Figures such as the well-known anthropologist Helen Fisher, for example, highlights the role of attraction: it forms that explosion of neurotransmitters so intense that it establishes passion, affection, desire...
We are attracted to someone by dimensions that go beyond physical appearance. We are attracted by their way of thinking, of expressing, of treating others, we are fascinated by their personality, charisma, charm...
This is the most interesting element of the fourfold theory of love. Connection is made up of commitment, intimacy, and the need for mutual care. Without these variables and their daily exercise, love dies, goes out, has no meaning.
In turn, in this dimension, the experts emphasize the need to speak of resonance or harmony. That is, a couple needs to feel familiar with the loved one, share with the other a system of values, common goals and similar passions. In addition to being a lover, it is essential to be friends.
On the other hand, the connection or resonance will only be possible if these two people establish a secure attachment between them. It is a nurturing bond in which trust, respect, validation of emotions and mutual needs flow. Only then will we put aside jealousy, mistrust, the dependency that suffocates and damages...
Trust is that glue that consolidates love, that makes it strong and that makes it possible to face any difficulty. Without this dimension, affective uncertainty, resentment and uncertainties emerge.
We need to be able to trust each other to solve problems, support each other and know that, whatever happens, we will have the affection and understanding of that person. Trust is the cornerstone of satisfaction in a relationship.
Couples with a secure attachment style are more likely to build a long-lasting, happy relationship. And it keeps on growing all days between dates
Respecting each other should be the basis of any social pact. Now, respect in a relationship is like oxygen, something vital, a priority and necessary. It is a cardinal element in interpersonal relationships, but when we enter love, it is essential.
If this dimension is not present, distrust, coldness and all those negatively valenced emotions that destroy a relationship arise.
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Therefore, from a psychological point of view, if we ask ourselves what is the most desirable quality to look for in a potential partner, it is not their attractiveness or the passion we feel for that person. Dynamics such as trust, respect, care and connection are those roots that make happy relationships flourish.
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